Wednesday, 19 November 2008

BNP Members Can “Go & Shite” Say Amnesty

“Fuck Them” Adds Chakrabarti

After the personal details of 10,000 BNP members were posted on the internet, human rights activists have been quick to assert that the collection of neo-nazis, crackpots and morons can “Throw their cocks at a flying sex doll if they think they’re getting any help from us.”

Amnesty person Raffia Ebbsfleet stated “We are dedicated to challenging abuses of human rights wherever we find them. Whether that is the freedom of religion in Middle-Eastern countries or the freedom to vote in South American countries. Our staff often face great personal danger in their work. But if you honestly think we’re going to help this bunch of fascist gitwipes then you’re wrong. Human rights are universal but there are limits, you know.”

Shami Chakrabarti said “The right to privacy and the freedom from persecution based on one’s political beliefs are absolute. Except when they’re horrid, then I could frankly give a flying one. This party’s policies encourage hatred, social division and threats. So I welcome the publication of their membership so we can work to identify who to dislike, fire from their jobs and….ah, I see what I’ve done there.”

The list, dating from 2007, features individuals from all walks of life, from embittered, hate-filled teachers to embittered, hate-filled clergymen. BNP fuhrer Nick Griffin stated “This challenges the myth that the BNP is filled with skinheaded oiks. Some of our oiks hold down positions of great professional responsibility. Or at least did. I don’t imagine their next one-to-ones are going to be especially glowing.”

Some doubt has been cast over the accuracy of the list, as Griffin himself confirmed that possible non-members and party infiltrators may be included. The absence of Richard Littlejohn and Paul Dacre from the list also gives reason for doubt. Griffin has called the leak “A disgraceful act of treachery by a former party member and a nasty piece of intimidation. And I should know nasty intimidation when I see it.” Asked why membership of his party should be something people would want to keep private, Griffin responded “Erm… reason.”

It remains to be seen whether any criminal prosecutions will arise from the leaked document and a decision has yet to be made by the Dyfed-Powys CPS. “We’re looking at the details of this incident very closely” said Chief Inspector Knutsford “And an announcement will be made in the next few days. We will be wor…oh, look, it’s Hugh. I remember him from my CID days. There was one time when we’d rounded up a van of gyp…this press conference is over. Thank you.”

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