Kay “Has Go At Orphans” For Next Show

“Parents? Dead? Dead Parents?” New Catchphrase

Following the success of last night’s “Britain’s Got The Pop Factor”, Peter Kay’s next mockumentary is believed to be an hysterical send-up on the plight of war orphans called “Who’s Your Daddy? And Does He Dance Like This At Weddings?”. The show will feature Britain’s best-loved parental Christmas gift idea as Stan Hubris, an inept charity worker sent to a Rwandan orphanage with hilarious results.

“Peter’s comedy as all about inclusiveness” said Kay’s press officer Chorley Ebbsfleet. “Whether he’s laughing at the disableds or the funny way Chinese people talk, there’s no victims in his comedy. If you don’t include the people who bought that last live DVD of his that didn’t feature any new jokes, of course.”

“Peter showed in last night’s show that he really is a man of the people, and as such has no issue with sneering at the working classes who dream of a better life for themselves and enter reality shows as a way of doing this. He’s a down-to-earth Lancashire lad that just happens to be richer than Croesus’ accountant so when he mocks basically-decent, working class people with lifestyles or opinions he no longer has to live alongside, it’s done with love. With “Britain’s Got…”, the former City Life & So You Think You’re Funny winner warm-heartedly poked fun at those who enter talent competitions to further their careers.”

Speaking from the offices of his production company, whose logo is a hand being bitten by a mouth it’s trying to feed, Ebbsfleet gave a few hints as to what Kay’s legion of fans can expect to mindlessly keen in front of next year. “Peter’s this really stupid bloke, right, and he’s got a mate who’s even more stupid! They’re sent to work in Rwanda, so there’s lots of scope for culture clash comedy – why they don’t serve Panda Pops and the like – and the show finishes with Peter singing “Two Little Boys” to a row of quadriplegic sad kids. We expect to get the single out before Christmas, of course. We’re not stupid.”

Kay himself was unavailable for a full interview, but did say to reporters “Diminishing? Returns? Returns that diminish?”