Tuesday, 12 February 2008

Murdering 9/11 Scum Promised ‘Fair Trial’

"May They Rot In Hell If Or When They're Found Guilty" Says Chertoff

US Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff has promised the six suspects of the 9/11 bombings “An unbiased, just hearing before sending them straight to juddering, screaming hell on Old Sparky.”

Facing charges of murder, conspiracy and being goddamn A-rabs, the six men will be tried by military tribunal. Under US International law, the tribunal system is seen as the fairest way of dealing with the “Kebab-munching motherfuckers that pissed on old glory”, in the words of one senior US official.

Human Rights groups have raised fears about the fairness of the trials, but Chertoff assured the press that “Being screamed at in a courtroom full of guys packing heat will not be intimidating for the terrorists. Sorry, ‘suspects’. After all, we had to near-drown them, pound the tar out of them and make them eat their own shit before they’d confess. Being bulldozed through the legal process will be like a cakewalk in comparison.”

Two of the suspects, Khalid Ebbsfleet & Ramzi Knutsford, have appealed against the tribunal hearing, asking for the case to be heard in a US civilian court. As a precautionary measure, Chertoff has already assembled a jury consisting of New York firemen, widowed pilots and Rush Limbaugh.

Pre-trial hearings have given some indication of the evidence the prosecution will be relying on. Leading up to the 9/11 bombings, several of the suspects were seen ‘Looking like that sonofabitch Saddam’ by security services. At least one suspect was heard by startled co-workers to say “Man. America sucks, don’t it?” just two days before the attack. And all suspects allegedly ran away from heavily-armed security operatives screaming “What have I done? What have I done? Please, help me!”, which CIA experts have taken as a clear indication of guilt.

“It would be quite wrong of me to comment on a trial before it has taken place” said Chertoff “All I would say is that America cannot, and will not, tolerate foreign, shifty-looking cocksuckers who refuse to own up to what they did.”

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