Sunday, 6 January 2008

Maddie Story 'Not Dead Yet' Says Journalist

Media Give Up Search For Maddie Stories

The head of the UK Press Association announced today that Britain's newspapers will be formally scaling down their search for new angles on the kidnapping of Madeleine Mccann just seven short months ago.

Spokesman Chester Ebbsfleet said "All of us in Fleet Street still hold out hope that some new piece of unsubstantiated tittle might come to light or a character we've not previously assassinated. But we have to be realistic – we've carried on four and five page spreads for months despite there being no new developments in the case. We cannot be expected to sell lots and lots of papers just by rehashing previous stories. We have to concentrate our efforts elsewhere, in the interests of our readership. That Britney Spears' little sister is up the duff, for instance, and if you bung that Welsh nobend Rhydian on the front cover you'll double your circulation."

But freelance journalist Sandy Buttress feels the PA have given up too soon. "I firmly believe that the Madeleine Mccann story is still alive." said Buttress. "I have been speaking to contacts in Portugal and I confidently predict that Madeleine will be back on our front pages, where she belongs, in time for Easter."

When pressed on what new information he had, Buttress alluded to the fact Robert Murat owned a copy of the book 'Lolita' and had once watched an episode of 'Minipops' back in the 1980s.

When asked about the Press Association's scaling down of coverage, the Mccann parents issued a statement. "We are wholly innocent of killing our child, driving her away in the back of a hire car and dumping her body down a well somewhere." When it was pointed out to them that that wasn't the question, they added "Oh, right. Yes. Erm. We're very upset about that thing you've just said. What was it again?"


Anonymous said...

My favourite so far.

Bravo Mr P.

Tony Cowards said...

Erm...that last comment was from me, Tony C, by the way.