Friday, 25 January 2008

Sonic Hedgehogs ‘Nearly Extinct In UK’

Speeding Creature Could Die Out By 2012

Wildlife experts are warning that the Sonic Hedgehog, once a common creature in the UK, could become extinct in the next five years.

“As little as fifteen years ago, Sonic The Hedgehog was a thriving, popular creature throughout the Great Britain. In 2008, however, sightings have become so rare that we fear it might be too late to save him.” said Bryson Ebbsfleet of the UK Conservation Trust.

The population of the sonic hedgehog, with its distinctive blue markings and red trainers, was once estimated at over four million in the early 90s. These days, however, it is very rare to see the animal outside of dilapidated seaside arcades and the living rooms of very poor council estates.

Sonic Hedgehogs were once a common Christmas present for children, helping to boost their native population. But the recent popularity of Snake Plisskens have all but wiped out their numbers. “Snake Plisskens are the natural predator of the sonic hedgehog” said Ebbsfleet.

“Sonics, although very quick, are peaceful creatures with little natural defences. Just two jabs with a row of spikes is enough to kill them. Snake Plisskens, on the other hand, use stealth, hi-tech weaponry and the ability to sneak up on foes and break their necks to hunt their prey. Sonics are really no match for them.”

Ebbsfleet is urging the public to make their gardens more sonic-friendly in order to revive their flagging numbers. “If people could place a row of gold rings down their children’s slide, maybe with a trampoline at the bottom, this would provide a safe haven for young sonic hedgehogs. Also, installing roving CCTV cameras and armed guards that patrol in regular patterns will discourage the influx of Snake Plisskens.” Bill Oddie is also scheduled to feature a “Sonic Watch” section in the next series of ‘Bill Oddie’s Wild Side’.

Ebbsfleet warns that if drastic measures are not taken, the sonic hedgehog could follow the Donkey Kong & the Q-Bert into extinction.

At time of publication, Dr Robotnik was unavailable for comment.

No comments: